Meeting Women In Stores,
Online, In Malls...
***QUESTION***
Hey D,
I've been subscribing to the newsletters and
just got your book. Super stuff dude. I've
naturally been C&F to the girls I don't really
like but they stick to me. I've been a super wuss
to the ones I like and it's like trying to stick
the same polar ends of a magnet together.
Lemme share this. I was out with a 6-pointer
girl I met over the Net (using your online
profile of course!) We met up with a few of my
other friends and went to a club. There, I left
my friend to fend for herself while I got on to
meet new people.
There was this hoochie-mama (9.9) and I got
talking with her. Didn't give her any compliments
like I would normally do. I noticed that she was
wearing a white/blue dress but had her toenails
painted red. I just said "Why are your toes red?
Don't you know that red and blue don't match,
especially on your toes? You color blind or
something?" Shocker. The look on her was priceless.
Continued talking and she said "Those guys
there are oogling at me non-stop." At which point
I said "Don't be modest. They're just desperate."
Came to a point where I just asked "so what's
your number?" She just grabbed my mobile and keyed
it in before I could say abracadabra.
The other girl was just observing me and
started to get restless and came over to sit next
to me. She had her head on my shoulders and
started to tell the hoochie-mama that I'm playing
THE game. "Hello...who invited you into this
conversation?" was my response to that.
Anyway, I decided to leave even though the 9-pointer kept asking me to follow her to another
place. Drove the other one home and well...she
was basically all over me, dude.
Gonna call the mama soon. Any advice? Sorry
it's long but just had to tell. Felt like a
million dollars. And my advice to others is, you
really have to live being C&F and not be overawed
by the 9-pointer for you to get anywhere. Live
the book, don't learn it.
Cheers,
~ A, Far East
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Dude, you're kind of like some kind of combination
of Austin Powers and a bad hip-hop group.
But I'm feelin' ya flow, dog.
Good job using the online personals material to
meet a cute girl.
A lot of guys pass up the online personal,
thinking that only desperate and unattractive
women would be running online personal ads...
Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.
There are all kinds of women online who are running
personal ads... for all different reasons.
And personal ads give you the chance to communicate
on a more "even playing field" with women... you
and she both have to actually COMMUNICATE.
It's good stuff, especially when you're familiar
with the style of communication that you've learned
from my materials.
As far as advice on the "mama", just keep doing
what you're doing.
And DON'T turn into WussBoy as you get to know her.
There's nothing that will kill ATTRACTION faster
than turning into a Girl Man just as she starts
to like you.
***QUESTION***
Mr. DeAngelo,
I know you get a lot of questions and things but
I have a dire situation. I have your advanced
series - the book and DVD, the works... great stuff. I
love every minute of it because this comes so
natural to me. I was doing it to everyone already,
but just not to women because my mother brought me up
to treat women nice and buy flowers etc... I don't
know where I'd be had I not stumbled upon your website one day.
Anyway - on to my dire question, this is not for
myself, it's for my best buddy. His girlfriend and I are good
friends and she and I chat once in a while about my
friend and how everything is going. She dropped
him off at the airport the other day, he was
leaving to visit family in California... for THREE
days. One, two, three. 3!! AND HE CRIED! I have
done my best to help him by forwarding newsletters
and he understands them when he reads them, but
only in theory - he takes no action. I have even
tried to explain certain things to him. As of late
I have given up. I wasn't sure if you did door-to-door slap service, but I would gladly
pay for it. Anyway I don't know how or if you can
help but I didn't know who else to turn to. If
there is anything you recommend I should do please
tell me. His girlfriend tells me he's acting weird lately
and smothering her and her mother has even told
him to back away. Should I attempt to tell him
this? Thanks for anything... I did my best to keep
this short.
~A.R., Seattle, Washington
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, it sounds to me like YOU'RE not the one
who has the "dire situation".
Sounds like it's your buddy.
I mean, you realize of course that he IS going
to screw this up... and at some point in the
future you ARE going to have to either:
- Listen to her complain about how he's being
a WussBag and how she doesn't need another
girlfriend... she has plenty.
- Listen to HIM complain about how she seems
to be acting less and less "happy" in general,
and more and more annoyed at him... even though
he's being "nicer and nicer" to her.
- Listen to them both whine and complain after
she DUMPS HIS ASS for acting like such a girl.
- Endure some combination of the above.
Some guys just get so caught up in their emotions
that they refuse to even entertain the idea that
they should be doing things differently.
And, unfortunately, some guys need to learn the
hard way.
Let him read my response to your email. Maybe
it will get his attention.
But it probably won't.
Remember, he's emotionally hypnotized right now,
and there's not much hope that he's going to stop
acting like a Wuss... no matter what.
By the way, a few thoughts on the "mom teaching
us to be 'nice' to women and buy them flowers",
and why they teach us this stuff...
I've thought a lot about this one, and I've even
had many discussions with MY OWN MOM about
this.
Of course, my mom thinks that all men should
take women to dinner, buy them things, get them
gifts, and support them financially.
As you can imagine, the conversations that she
and I have are interesting...
But think about it.
Your mom isn't going to say "Well, son... we
women don't have any idea why we feel attraction
for men, but the ones we do feel attraction for
are usually difficult, funny, mysterious, and
challenging..."
Moms are trying teach their sons to be politically
correct nice guys... and imagining an ideal young
woman who will see that wonderful, sweet, kind boy
of theirs that they taught to act like a girly-man
and think he's just perfect...
They're trying to create the NICE GUY that they
WISH that THEY were attracted to.
Read that again.
They can't admit that they want the challenging,
cocky, MASCULINE guy that they read about in
romance novels...
So they need something a little more "acceptable"
to turn their boy into.
The reality is that women aren't going to teach
you how to become a man that women feel an
INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for...
Because they CAN'T.
They don't understand it themselves.
And besides, women aren't interested in the guys
that they have to TEACH.
They want guys that TRIGGER those feelings of
ATTRACTION... not guys who need to LEARN HOW.
Thanks for your email.
Get ready to hear your buddy cry a lot more in
the future. I know, it sucks. But being a friend
is not always fun and easy.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear Dave,
Reading your columns and, however hard to admit,
perfect advice is a guilty pleasure. A friend of
mine completely changed his whole way with girls
after seeing the DVD series. My best friends (one
a model and the other a beautiful business woman)
used to say he was cute but kind of pathetic. Now
they both commonly use the word "sexy" when
describing him. This whole change in 6 months! I
signed up for your column to get a "one up" on the
David D. moves. Turns out, I'm still the biggest
victim of cocky and funny ever. 100% factual case
in point (and men READ THIS!!! And for gods sake
get the Audio Book because I'd hate to think you
will make the same mistake) from two of the five
dates I went on last week.
Guy #1: Harvard MBA, millionaire, smart, good-looking, plays polo, golf, tennis, country club,
biggest Mercedes, four houses in different cities
and countries. No competing with this guy, right?
WRONG! Right off the bat, Mr. "In the Bag" says
how crazy he is about me, that I look like I could
be a model or a TV newscaster (I expected this).
Offers to pay my December rent. Recounts his
current court battles with his ex-wife over money
and how he still sends money to his coke-snorting
ex-girlfriend. Offers to take me to Buenos Aires
THIS WEEK to look for a house and I could pick
out the curtains. Made sure to let me know all
about his VIP job. NOTHING was left to mystery
and I felt like I'd just been given a sales pitch.
At the end of the date, as we were waiting for
the valet to pull up his Mercedes, he kind of
grabbed me and awkwardly kissed me in the glaring
street light as I moved my head. He called me the
next morning (8am) to say he was so sorry because
he knows the kiss went poorly and he really liked
me and wants to know if I think he is too big of
loser to go out with again and could we get
together that night? Answer? YES you are a loser
(I didn't think you were a loser, but you changed
that in one night). And NO (as much as I want to
keep loving you because of your amazing resume, I
'd throw up if you ever kissed me again) we will
not go out again.
Guy #2: Brings in about 40,000 bones a year as
a graphic designer. Offers nothing to me by way
of financial stability. One inch shorter than my
5'10. The DEFINITION of confidence: cocky and
funny. Pulls up to
get me in his old pick-up and says next time it
will be on his mountain bike. Says, "I'm thinking
I'll take you to KFC, do you expect something
more?" We go to dinner for cheap Japanese Food.
He refrains from the usual round of predictable
compliments and manages to say a couple of things
that completely take me by surprise. We split the
tab (I think I even offered to pay the whole
thing!). He takes me to the couch he's crashing
on at his brothers while in town. We make love
throughout the night and through out the next day.
I don't say anything about commitment to this guy,
even though I count down the minutes to each of
his calls, and am dying to see him again. He
keeps calling but has been mysteriously
unavailable to see me in person for 3 weeks! I'm
seeing him this weekend (driving 2 hours to HIS
house in Santa Barbara!) and am going crazy to
know what will happen. I happen to know he is
still seeing other girls (he even told me last
week on the phone he kissed one and she was dying
to sleep with him but he wouldn't have sex with
her), but somehow I'm still putting myself in the
mix.
MEN! Don't be guy #1. It's a waste of your
time to get the MBA and the nice Mercedes if you
mess up the fundamentals. You probably are
already guy #2. You just need to act like him and
you might have a chance of getting an intelligent,
sassy, and beautiful woman like me.
E.
Los Angeles
>>>MY COMMENTS:
In the future, all attractive women with attractive
friends that live in Los Angeles who write to me
MUST include:
- A clear picture of themselves.
- A clear picture of all attractive and available
friends (especially models).
- A list of favorite restaurants that they would
like to take me to along with said friends whose
pictures are included in said email.
Got it?
Great email. You have done the male gender a great
service by being honest about your "guilty
pleasure" of reading these emails... and by telling
the plain truth about why women aren't attracted
to men who try too hard and seek approval.
Well done.
Now send pictures.
***QUESTION***
David,
First off I would like to say that after reading
your book, it not only helped me reflect on past
interactions with women, but it also helped me
reflect on myself as a person. After reading
Double Your Dating, it completely blew my mind
when I FINALLY realized the things I had done
completely wrong in the past with women. So with
that, I'd like to share a fairly recent experience
I had with a local lifeguard hottie.
I had noticed her as soon as I entered the pool.
She was very athletic with tight abs and long
dark legs that went on for days. Shoulder-length
brown hair, brown eyes... Very nice. But anyway,
let's get back to my story. I'm a shorter guy...
20 years old. About 5'5", with short red hair,
freckles, and an average body. I didn't approach
her initially, because I wanted to swim and
brainstorm what I wanted to say and how I wanted
to approach. Later on, as I am getting my stuff
ready to leave the pool... I notice that a
couple of 11 or 12 year old BOYS are flirting with
the her. After they hang around her ladder for
about 3 minutes she seems to get annoyed by them.
Bam, just like that a light bulb flashes above my
head.
So I wait until those kids leave until I make my
approach... Then I slowly walk over to her in a
cocky way with a smirk on my face and say, "You
should be ashamed of yourself." Then I paused for
dramatic effect so she could wonder what the hell
I was talking about. She just kind of smiled in a
way that said "What did I do?" Then I say,
"...hitting on those 12 year old boys like that.
What's wrong with you anyway?" And then her face
lighted up and she said something sarcastic to the
effect of "Yeah I know, I can't help it." After
that I thought I would test a technique that was
mentioned in a previous newsletter. So then I
asked her if I could ask a quick question. It was
then when I asked her "Are you single?" in a way
similar to asking what time it is with a straight
and serious face. Of course her face lighted up
again, and she was clearly flattered by the
question... BUT she wasn't single. Damn. lol.
She then went into a spill about how she had a
boyfriend for 3 years, and she told me where she
was from, etc. Looking back on the whole thing, I
think I should've followed through a little better
and still got her e-mail anyway and offer
friendship, but after I found out she wasn't
single I kind of lost interest. Even though she
wasn't single, overall I still think it was a
success for me. Because she still reacted in a
positive way, and left me with a feeling that if
she was single, I KNOW I would have been able to
get her e-mail and number.
Now to the question... I have only read the
book once... And I THINK I get it. BUT, I think
I should read it again once or twice. So that I
KNOW I get it. Even though your techniques are
making sense and hit close to home for me... I
can't seem to find the motivation to go out and
meet women. I don't know what it is, but it's
almost like I would rather spend my nights at home
instead of getting out of the house to meet women.
I think it may be a confidence issue, and I
should just read the book again a couple times.
Nice work David. The newsletter is GREAT. Keep
it up man.
J.B., Missouri
P.S. To all the short guys out there like me:
keep your head up. If you're 5'5 "... Walk like
you're 6'5". It makes a huge difference. And
remember, YOU'VE GOT TA STRUT!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, baby.
Maybe you should do a video program called:
"HOW TO STRUT - A COURSE FOR SHORT GUYS"
Might be a big hit... who knows.
And about rereading my book...
DUH.
That book is a REFERENCE TOOL. It's something
that you should read DAILY until you master
the techniques described.
You're CRAZY if you read it once, and then
put it aside.
It's a huge mistake to not review great ideas
on a regular basis.
Good job, and read the book again!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Your stuff is pure gold, as if you didn't already
know. I used to have a hard time with women and
now since I got your book it's like I don't even
have to try nearly as hard and I'm getting ten
times the digits (phone #'s).
Anyway, I just wanted to share with you this
story. I was at the grocery store doing my food
shopping. Well, as I'm going down the frozen food
section I notice this totally hot girl about mid
to late 20's looking at frozen dinners. I walked
up to her like I was just shopping and notice
she's looking at frozen meals, the type you throw
in the microwave. So I ask her if that was for her
dog and she didn't even look up at me and said it
was for her boyfriend for when she goes away this
weekend. So I told her that if I was her boyfriend
and she left that crap for me that she'd come back
to find all her stuff on the front porch with the
door locks changed. So she finally looks up with
this look of disbelief, as if to say "oh no you
just didn't!" So I just laugh at her and ask her if
she knows how to cook. She says a little but not
really and I tell her that's too bad because the
way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. She's
laughs again and tells me she can make spaghetti.
Then I tell her any moron can boil water and throw
in some noodles and laugh at her again. The whole
time she had this look as if she's never been
talked to like this, along with a big smile. So I
TOLD her to give me her email address and I'll
send her some recipes so that her poor boyfriend
doesn't starve to death. She laughs and says that
he's on his way out anyway and gives me her email
and phone number (which I didn't tell her to give
me) and says that she'd like some good recipes
anyway. So I wait 5 days and send her an email and
tell her that she better not mess up my mother's recipe. She writes back within
the hour and asked if I wanted to meet her for a
drink. I said that I couldn't today but maybe next
week I'd be available. Immediately she writes back
and says that she broke up with her boyfriend and
wanted to get to know me. So I write back the next
day and say "good for him, maybe now he'll get a
decent meal". That went over perfect, because she
wrote me back and asked me again to meet for
drinks, I replied that since she's not playing
hard to get that I will and tell her I'll only meet
her for drinks if she buys. She says she'll meet
me the next day at 7:00 at the local bar. I
arrived at around 7:15 and walk right up to the
bar, I saw her in the corner but didn't make eye
contact. So I order a beer and then I hear her
over my shoulder "I'll get that beer for him." The
rest is history! Thanks again Dave!
- K.L.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, you're kind of funny in a beer commercial
kind of way...
Classy.
It's special.
You ever think of becoming a greeting card writer
or something?
You sound like you'd be good at writing things that
make women feel happy and special in their hearts.
OK, OK... I have to admit that your letter was
pretty entertaining.
You're obviously have a good, strong understanding
of how to dial up the Sexual Tension... very nice.
Call Hallmark. Maybe they're looking for writers...
***QUESTION***
Hello, I am a very smart person (I.Q. of about 160),
and I often feel like most women are not up to my
level of intellect; their gregariousness simply
amuses me. They always seem to move away from me,
I don't understand why. I am always the first guy
to give them compliments, and tell them "I love
you". What am I doing wrong? Your c+f technique is
horrible, although I have used it on my mom and
dad and they are suddenly attracted to me. Is
this normal?
F.Z
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, you sound pretty smart.
Maybe you should go take the I.Q. test again.
Sounds like you might have gotten a person who
put a 1 in front of your score on accident, man.
Get it checked again.
***QUESTION***
Davo,
[I] was just reading the latest email, and felt like
sharing my two cents (and experiences) with ya.
I'll start off by saying that the comment you made
(in the Advanced Series) to sort of personalize
your cocky/funny attitude is spot on. When I first
got the book/CDs, I thought laying on as much
cocky/funny as possible was the way to go. I still
think it is in cases, but in the CD, you mention
that good-looking guys should tone down the cocky
a bit. This is sooo true. I do a bit of modeling,
but I never had any real confidence. I find what
works best for me is to just project my self-
confidence, make sure I stand out from the wussies,
and keep as much humor as possible with just a bit
of cocky here and there. Works like a charm.
Oh and one cool thing I like to do, is to have
fun with the c/f, and then to TELL the girl how
NICE a guy I am. They sooo get it, & its like you
say- the difference between the words you use and
what you're SAYING. The funny thing is, the ladies
actually do think of you as a great guy when you
have fun with them and tease them. And they will
still think of you as nice AND be attracted to
you, because you are actually giving them what they
want. They appreciate you "bantering" with them,
they love it! Better being seen as nice than a
nice guy I say.
Sorry to take a third paragraph, but I've got one
quick story that worked a charm. I'm a pilot, and
where I work there is an overwhelming majority of
guys & one girl who gets most of the attention because
there isn't really anyone else. When I started
there, these guys were being classic wusses and
doing most of her work for her etc. Anyway, I called her on it,
gave her a hard time for it, and the best bit of all- I
told all the other guys to stop doing that stuff
for her, with her right there. This showed her
that I knew exactly what was really going on.
Anyway that was a few months ago, we've spent "a
bit of time together" ;) and I had forgotten all
about it and assumed she had too. Well, a few days
ago she brought it up and said "how much of a jerk"
I was to do that. Shows that it's still working, in
my opinion.
Cheers,
- C.B., Australia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Verrrrry nice.
Now you're getting it.
The fact that you had the nerve to tells guys
to stop being such Wussies to a girl... with
her standing right there... IS FANTASTIC.
And teasing a girl until she's flustered, then
turning it around and telling her what a nice
guy you are... another brilliant move.
Always send mixed messages... because it's
damn fun, and women love it.
***QUESTION***
Yo David D,
OK, I have written you before and have never seen
my emails in your mailbag, and I just want to say
...THANK YOU FOR NOT RESPONDING!!! I was asking
all the stupid questions like "how do I make her
see I am the one?" And saying stupid crap like "she is the only one for me." WHAT A WUSS I
WAS BEING! I took the advice you told one guy to
do, I wrote YSSUW on a piece of paper and looked
in the mirror with it. Since then I have taken
your advice and said NEXT. I want to keep this
short but let me tell you I have had no lonely
times since. So in short, you are the man. I am
going to purchase the advanced series this week.
You saved me from a life of approval-seeking
WUSSDOM. Thanks a bunch.
S.E.R., NC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Congratulations on actually making the WUSSY sign
and looking at yourself with it.
I know it sounds strange, but things like that
make an impression on your mind... and help.
I think you're going to be OK.
Now send in a killer success story, and share
the details!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi David,
This story is especially for the guys (like me)
who have a hard time making the mental transition
to go out and just start talking to girls they
don't know and trying the material from the Ebook
and advanced series. I found that I intellectually
understood your material and agreed with it, but
that when it came time to try and really put it
into practice that I was still too nervous and
probably fearful of rejection to relax and use the
material properly. My discovery came accidentally
one day when I was returning from a
transcontinental trip. I was so tired from the
long journey (at least 24 hours straight in taxis,
buses, airports and flying) that I found myself in
kind of a strange mental state where I just didn't
care what anyone thought of me per se. Not
in a rude or aggressive way but just no real fear
of censure or anything. It was amazing that even
as I walked through the airport and to a couple of
stores doing some grocery shopping on my way home
with this attitude, girls were smiling at me and
making more direct eye contact than I ever usually
get. Just from the different way I must have
walked and carried myself with this "I don't care" attitude! Amazing. While checking out at a
grocery store I found myself teasing the cashier, a
beautiful young woman, before I even realized what
I was doing and I just didn't care. Can't remember
exactly how the exchange went but was something
like this:
[as she was checking my things she hesitated for
a second on a bottle of wine looking for price or
something]
Me: Hey hey easy on the merchandise. If you want
one go and get one yourself.
Her: [looking at me kind of confused but with
hint of smile already] no uh I was just looking
for the price?
Me: Yeah sure. and don't try to talk me into
inviting you over to share it either.
(She smiles bigger this time. Eyes change the way
they are looking at me - kind of focus down and
tighten like she is hunting or something -
seriously it was kind of freaky - and she kind of
starts mumbling some lame thing about she was
really just looking for price - I interrupt her in
middle of this with a patronizing tone this time)
Me: At least if you're going to hit on me, have
the guts to admit it. {then kind of leaning in and
whispering) And you might want to work on your
technique a bit. It's kind of cheezy after that - I
had her write her email on the back of my receipt. When I
woke up next day and thought back over it, it
really seemed like that was someone else
inhabiting my body or it had just been a dream
except that I had the receipt and email. So I was
amazed but thought of it as a one-time fluke.
However, after a few weeks I had to stay up really
late on a project and was just dead tired the next
day at work. Again I noticed that I just didn't
care and was very relaxed and again had no
problem utilizing the material on new or already
known women. I'm not really sure why it works or
that it would work for anyone else, but it's helped
me get started on making this mental switch.
Thanks for all the great material Dave, and sorry
this is so freaking long.
- D from Seattle
P.S. I really hope you can print this one as I
think other more timid readers might be able to
relate and get something from this
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, nice!
I think that maybe what I should advise guys to
do is stay up for 24 hours straight, then go out
to meet women...
You know, wait until you're in some bizarre,
faded state of mind... then go out and talk to
girls.
Sounds tight.
I'll tell you, though...
Your stories are great.
The idea of accusing a female checker of "putting
her hands on your merchandise" is fantastic.
And then implying that she's trying to pick up on
YOU... and that she's hinting that she wants you
to invite her to share... VERY good.
And I also like the idea of having her write her
email on the back of a receipt. Very nice.
You're learning, young Jedi.
Keep it up.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Your stuff is amazing. I've been using your
techniques for about half a year now and I'm
seeing how much of an idiot I used to be OBSESSING
over the same girls over and over, always being
the nice guy. I would constantly be extremely nice
*cough* be a wussy *cough* to the point where I
thought my new cologne had a secret girl repellent
or something. Now that I've adopted your ways I
feel completely refreshed and confident, like a
brand new man. I can now get girls that I thought
were way out of my league as easy as pie. I have a
couple questions though. My best friend, who has
pretty low confidence because he has never had a
serious girlfriend before, (the only one he had
was using him to get to me), sees me "perform" my
new abilities with ease, yet he is still too
stubborn to try this out. He says he's happy being
the person (wussy) he is, and that women will just
have to accept him for who he is. I tried
explaining this philosophy to him many times, and
we usually end up getting into a fight about it. I
can't even convince him to sign up for this
newsletter because he is afraid of being "fake". I
need some advice to help him, thanks.
OK, onto my next question. This is the only real
problem I have when dealing with women. From time
to time, they tell me they are fat and ugly and
worthless. I'm not sure whether to agree to bust
on them, or to console them. I know busting on
them would follow the guidelines of the C+F
attitude, but I think if I AM too harsh it would
be more detrimental than good. On the other hand,
if I do console them by saying at least "No, you
aren't," that makes me look like a wussy, and just
a feel-good go to compliment guy. I think this is
a situation that a lot of guys have to deal with,
because a bunch of America's women do have low self-esteem and look to guys to uplift their mood.
Seriously though, Dave, I'd still be wondering
how to impress the next girl I obsess with if it
weren't for me finding your website. Thanks.
P.D., Methuen, MA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, advice to help your friend:
Get him a subscription to Playboy. He's going to
be dating his right hand for a LOOOONG time.
Advice on your second question:
If a woman says "I'm fat and ugly"... RUN.
Just stand up, and RUN AWAY.
If she IS fat and ugly, then you probably aren't
going to want a date with her...
And if she ISN'T fat and ugly, but she THINKS
that she is... then you've got a bigger problem
than you think.
The last thing you need in your life is a woman
with a screwed up self image and emotional
problems.
If you MUST pursue a woman who says "I'm fat
and ugly", just reply "Your words, not mine" and
get on to the next topic.
And do yourself a big favor... find women who
aren't messed up in the head. It's much more fun
in the long run.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I really appreciate the mental process of taking
a complex concept or problem and boiling it down
to something simple other people can wrap their
brains around and you are the master, my friend.
Reading your ebook and newsletter I've about
bruised my forehead slapping it when saying to
myself: "DUH!" At my age (53) and going for women
close to my age, it doesn't all apply as much as
it does for your normal target audience but enough
does that it's changed my love life!
I've always been super-shy when it comes to
initially meeting women (although I grew out of
the wussy stage years ago - life's too short for
that) and I work at home and don't do bars so I
decided to use the Internet services. I wasn't
having much luck but I got your ebook and thought
I'd try the C+F there, with nothing to lose, kind
of using it as a practice field. Cut to the chase:
I wrote to a cute lady in New Jersey (I'm on the
West Coast so I had nothing to lose) and said
"I've got two questions for you: Why are you in
New Jersey and when's the next flight from Newark
to Seattle?" She came back with a schedule of
flights going the other direction! She was jumping
right in the game. We've had fun teasing back and
forth for a while but to make a long story short,
she booked a flight out here for next month. No
way was I going to wuss out and buy a ticket to
New Jersey first, I waited for her to make that
move first. Then I booked my flight east.
Now here's one your readers might get a kick out
of and maybe even use. When I still thought nothing
was really going to come of this and got bored with
the chitter-chatter I figured "what the hell" and
stepped it up to the next level. Out of the blue I
told her I thought she has a nice-looking neck and
I'd like to take my tongue and trace a line from
her shoulder to her ear and nibble on it. Magic!
I've used this one on a few other women and I find
it works wonders; one told me she could feel the
chills when she read it. Now, if I hadn't stuck
with the C+F all along, what would she have felt?
"Dirty old man! You're outta here!" We're never too
old to learn.
- O.J., Kirkland, WA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey, great job, man.
Now, before you get too excited about this girl
from NJ that you met online...
Here are a few tips for you:
- Get at LEAST 10 pictures of this woman... and
make sure that they were ALL taken within the last
30 days.
- Make sure it's HER in the pictures she sends
over to you.
- If you can, GET VIDEO. It's worth it to have
her get a cheap USB webcam so you can see what
you're dealing with.
- Make sure her return flight is FLEXIBLE, and
that there are flights back to NJ SOON after she
arrives.
Why?
Because I've seen and even experienced many things
that would make you want to run and hide if you
saw them...
You might be the type of guy who isn't as concerned
about how a woman looks.
That's fine.
But I'm trying to make sure that you're getting what
you're EXPECTING.
I'll tell you, having someone fly across the country
is serious... if she shows up and happens to look
NOTHING like her one single glamour shot taken ten
years ago when she was 47 pounds lighter and before
she started wearing wigs... you're going to have a
BIG surprise.
Take it from me... really.
Get the details... and make sure there are flights
that are OPEN to NJ...
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave.
Just a note to say "thanks" for your daily
e-mails. They keep my attitude sharp! The kind of
attitude you describe works not only with women,
but with others, including my boss!
Now a word in reply to the guy who wrote about
capturing the attention of the hottest stripper in
town. I'm old (61), short and fat, but after
raising my kids and getting divorced, I've had the
time of my life! I had a friend who supplied local
models and strippers with stage costumes and shoes,
and when she invited me to be her assistant, I
took her up on it. Wow! I'm naturally cocky and
funny, and these girls never saw me as a "pursuer"
so guess what? I've had an endless string of
beauties (these girls "refer" guys they like to
each other). I currently get phone calls from
about 4 a day, which is all I can handle. The
point of this is that, while they're fun (and ego-boosting), they're not "settling down" material.
During the time I've had all the 10s any guy could
handle, a couple of really nice women appeared on
the scene, and guess what? I totally wussified!
Somehow, I didn't realize the things that worked
with "hot" women would work with any woman. Until
I read your stuff, I couldn't figure out why I was
so successful with women guys drool over and so
unsuccessful with "real" women. Now I know. I even
know why my ex left. Over the years, I became a
TOTAL wussy with her without even realizing it! It
just happened so gradually.even though she said
over and over and over she hated "WIMPS!" Thanks,
Dave, for turning on the light for me! I'm one of
those really bright guys you talk about who never
realized what was working and what wasn't until
you hit me over the head with it. Never too late to
learn, I hope.
BH, San Jose, CA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, let me get this straight...
You became the ASSISTANT to a woman who supplied
costumes to strippers... and that's how you met
all these girls and had four of them a day calling
you?
Something tells me that after this newsletter
we're going to see a lot of guys applying for that
job all over the world...
Interesting.
Well, you're right on...
"Nice" girls that are "settling down material" also
like men who are interesting, challenging, and
funny.
And if you start acting like a Wuss around them,
they'll use you and lose you like an old pair of
shoes.
Women don't want boring, ass-kissing, predictable
guys who are uninteresting to spend time with.
All women want a guy that they feel ATTRACTION
for. And being a Wuss isn't going to make that
happen... no matter how hard you try.
If this dating stuff I teach doesn't work out,
I'll give you a ring and get some tips on how
to become an assistant for a topless dancer
costume dealer.
Nice.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I've been reading your newsletters for awhile,
and bought your ebook a few months ago, and I
gotta say, your info is amazing. Physically, im
tall at 6'6, have a scarred face from a rather bad
case of acne when I was a teen, and am otherwise
a rather ordinary 22-year-old college student.
For the longest time I was an incredible wuss as
you put it, and I never knew what was going wrong
with my relationships - I would give up all my
power, be utterly indecisive and easily
intimidated by the slightest sense of disapproval
from any woman. After I read your book, I thought
what you said couldn't possibly work, but I decided
what could it hurt to try it? So I just went down
to a local café and tried out some of your ideas
and after a week or so of tuning, I managed to get
more phone numbers and emails than I had in the
last 4, 5 years. Casual dating, one-night stands,
stuff like that aren't really my things, but there
was one girl that I'd had a thing for for a long
time, and one day while hanging out with my
friends after a movie at the local mall, I saw her
walking around with a group of her friends.
Normally, I wouldn't have done anything, but this
time I just said to heck with it and went up and
talked to her. Normally she wouldn't think twice
about me because of my overwhelming wussiness
(which I never understood before), but this time
I just tried the c&f act on her, busting on her
and her friends, making comments about all the
fashions on display in the store windows, then
just leaving back to my friends instead of
getting clingy when she started showing interest.
My friends thought I was insane, but shortly
after, her and her friends came up to me and
started following us around trying to keep my
attention. It just enthralled me at how easily
this change came about. At the end of the
evening she asked to exchange numbers. Instead
of calling her, I waited and she ended up calling
me and asking me to go back to the mall with her
for coffee at the bookstore. While there, we
walked around the mall again and she took me into
a clothing store, where I did nothing but make
fun of all the styles and her for being into all
of this kinda stuff. As we were wandering
through the store, we ended up heading through
the lingerie section, and instead of getting
intimidated like I normally would I made a bunch
of c&f comments about how artificial and
insecure she must be to feel like she needed all
this stuff. And as we were walking out, we ran
into one of my friends who asked us what we were
doing, to which I said "this pervert just took me
through the lingerie section! I mean, I barely
know her!" This clinched it, and afterwards she
was all over me. Since then I haven't let off, and
we've been in a steady relationship now for a little
over a month now, and its easily the best one I've
ever been in. I do have a question though, because
of this she's become really attached, and I'm not
complaining at all. But in doing so, she's done
a lot of things like meet me at 5am at an airport
to see me off for the recent Thanksgiving
vacation, and various other things. She's asked me
to do a few of these things too, which I did
reluctantly because I felt bad for not returning
that kind of action... Normally I wouldn't do this
(for me, 5am doesn't exist unless absolutely
necessary), but I'm not sure what to do. I'm not
sure how to deal with things like this, this early
in a relationship. I know relationships aren't
really your area, but thanks for any help on this,
and thanks overall for all the information - you're a
lifesaver, man.
S.D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I just want you to know... all over the world,
guys are standing and cheering for you!
Nice... I really enjoyed your story.
I know what it's like to not have any idea how
to even start a conversation with a girl...
never mind get a girl's number when you first
meet her...
And I know how good it feels to learn how to
get over your insecurities and then go out and
make something happen that you've always wanted.
Here's what you need to do now...
The more you be who YOU want to be, the more
she'll stay attracted to you.
You're bordering on the "relationship" questions
here, which I don't really like to get into...
And the reality is that if you give up your own
life, or put yourself aside for a woman, she will
probably begin to lose respect for you.
You can be NICE without being a WUSSY... and you
are going to have to learn how to walk that line
if you want to have a good relationship.
Keep learning this stuff... it will actually
help you even more now... and good job.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Man, this stuff is revolutionary to my
heretofore limited mind. I am a fairly classic
bad boy, you know, lawyer with a Harley, but I
have always felt all thumbs with women. I was
fairly successful, mostly by dumb luck, but your
materials have totally changed how I think about
women. I am only through Disc Six from your
series and the results have been immediate and
dramatic. The genetic information is priceless,
the whole notion of appealing to her on a genetic
level is so liberating and rings so true that I
don't know quite what to say, other than:
stunning.
I looked back over the women I had been
successful attracting and noticed that all of
them had been attracted to me in periods of my
life where I was operating generally with high
confidence. You have given me the tools to
operate with high confidence EVERY day. You
discuss your scarcity theory at length and a
similar thought from negotiation training is
"operating from a position of strength". That is
mostly the secret, right there.
I always tried to use the nice guy schtick.
That lame ass play NEVER works. I wasted years
with it. I am free of that chump forever. You
talk about looking at life from an attractive
chick's perspective. I have some images that
really have helped me. Take it further back, and
imagine her on the playground in the first grade.
Little boys with devil's horns have constantly
picked at her and she has thought it to be GREAT
FUN ever since. That is the part of her to
attract. While she has grown up, she has created
this "Prince Charming" in her mind that she is
looking for. And if you enter her life banging the
"nice guy" drum she will naturally shuffle you
toward that "Prince Charming" ideal she has in her
fanciful, romantic brain. He is perfect and I
will NEVER EVER match her expectations for that
guy. But, the little horned devils, they get to
play. And if you are enough fun, she just might
try to mold you into "Prince Charming". Now,
there is a task that she wants to do.
I have thought of my dealings with women in some
fishing terms and metaphors that are useful. I
have talked to my friends before about "nervous
water". Fishing in shallow water flats, you are
looking for fish in two to three feet of water. I
mean to see them visibly. Sometimes, you can't
see them, but the water on top of them is moving,
shaking, vibrating and you just know there are
fish under there. Hence, nervous water. Dealing
with women, I like nervous water. You know, that
period of time when you are kind of posturing and
she is on your radar screen. I looked back at the
women with which I had been successful over the
years and realized there had always been nervous
water in the beginnings with them. You teach how
to create nervous water beautifully.
Further with the fishing imagery....My classic
nice-guy schtick has me usually with several women
merely kind of on the line, maybe biting, maybe
not. I would tell friends "I can't get her close
enough to the boat." And in my mind it involved
some tiresome cranking, winding in and reeling her
toward the boat. It had never occurred to me that
maybe I could get her to swim toward the boat.
You teach how to do that. This stuff is totally
amazing.
Yesterday, I had three project women on my radar
screen, I tried some different things I learned
from you and have all three of them swimming
toward the boat. In fact, I had a women in my
arms on her couch with her clothes half-off last
night, when I told her I had to go. That has
brought a mad run to the boat this morning.
Just some of the good news from the trenches,
this stuff is a WHOLE LOT OF FUN. While some of
this stuff is superficially counter-intuitive, it
feels right at a core, genetic level.
Thanks for the fishing tips and Happy Fishing
and Happy Thanksgiving.
~ KH
Since I wrote that note above a few days ago,
I cannot believe the totally fascinating
encounters I have been having with women pretty
much nonstop. Within minutes we are talking
about sex. A beautiful yoga instructor who lives
in my neighborhood was just over to watch a movie-
Don Juan DeMarco. What a hoot! After the movie
we talked about her love of threesomes and her
small minded boyfriends. Come to f----- papa!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea yea yea... OK, no guys like you, and your
friends don't want to talk to you.
I get it.
lol...
By the way, it's interesting that you mentioned
learning from my program how to make women feel
ATTRACTION for you on a GENETIC level...
As you know from listening to my Advanced Series,
I really believe that most women have an
"Attraction Mechanism" that is only triggered if
you either AUTOMATICALLY trigger it because you
ACCIDENTALLY do the "right" things... or you
AUTOMATICALLY trigger it because you KNOW the
right things to do.
And the guys who "accidentally" trigger that
magical feeling of ATTRACTION in women are very
few and far between...
Oh, and if you're reading this right now, the
chances are that YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM.
If you are, congrats.
But if you're a regular guy like me who doesn't
have women walk up to him and say "Hi, you're
cute", then you need to LEARN HOW to trigger
this GENETIC LEVEL ATTRACTION.
You have to get a clear understanding of the
things that women unconsciously respond to...
and then incorporate them into your behavior
and communication.
In other words, you're not going to figure this
one out with TRIAL AND ERROR.
And you're not going to figure it out by doing
more of the same thing you've been doing for
the last several YEARS of your life...
I'll tell you something that I find VERY
interesting.
After spending several years watching guys who
are "naturals" with women, paying careful
attention to what they do differently from other
guys who have little or no success... and then
adding research of how and why women respond the
way they do to everything from body language to
eye contact to their own genetic programming...
I've realized that there are several "Master
Keys" that a guy needs to understand and "get"
before he can have consistent success with women.
I've read that something like 95% of the
population in America that reach the age of 65
years old are either DEAD or DEAD BROKE... this
means that only 1 in about 20 people are
financially independent by the time they reach
retirement age.
When I read that I thought to myself "You know,
I'll bet that all the people that reach age 65
and are broke THOUGHT that they'd make it big,
and that they didn't need to worry about saving
money during their lives...".
I know so many people that just don't pay
attention to the important things... and they
wind up getting into all kinds of trouble as
a result.
What does this have to do with you?
Well, maybe nothing, and maybe everything.
I think that most guys who aren't successful
with women are thinking one of two things:
1) I'll never be successful, so I might as well
just accept it, and learn to deal with it.
2) I need to make a lot of money, buy a nice
car, and take women to fancy dinners and offer
them a great lifestyle in order to make women
like me.
Of course, these are mental lies that actually
HURT us.
These are the kinds of thoughts that keep us
from DOING SOMETHING about our situations...
and that lead to us winding up either ALONE
or IN HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIPS.
In either case, the feeling of desperation just
sucks... and it doesn't have to be this way!
So what's the answer?
Well, I think the answer is to put yourself out
there, and LEARN how to attract women.
Instead of leaving it to chance, and winding up
like all the other MAJORITY of men who have
horrible success with women... you have to get
up off your ass and make it happen.
I did. And it took me a damn long time.
I tried more stupid stuff and made more mistakes
than anyone I know...
But after working on it for a LOOOONG time, I
finally "cracked the code".
And I really want you to learn all the things it's
taken me so long to figure out. But you're the
one who has to do it.
So if you haven't gone and downloaded my
online eBook, then you need to do that now. It
contains literally dozens and dozens of great
tips, concepts, and techniques that you can
use RIGHT NOW to improve your success with
women. Go download it right now here:
Free Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
Copyright 2005 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.